Tuesday, 21 October 2014

Changes.

Changes are coming I can feel them like a small niggle in the back of my head, not always there but definitely present somewhere in the depths of my brain........................................................Her provisional driving license arrived today along with a letter from one of her chosen Universities, I looked at them for a long time before stuffing them in a drawer then taking them back out again only to once again throw them in the drawer and shut it tightly.

I want to do this to time..........................I want to grab time by the hair and stick it in a drawer until another day.

How can we be doing this, how can we actually be contemplating buying her a car and deciding where she is going to go to Uni..............................................................................................She is too young.................................No, she's not................................Yes she is...............................................

"Get a grip" is a statement I regularly tell myself, "pull yourself together you complete nelly" is another thing I will say whilst looking in the mirror.

I am either going to fall to pieces or embrace the whole situation fully, I will cry I know this much.........................I am an ugly crier and have often caught myself looking like I have a bad case of constipation whilst tears stream down my face. Friends have informed me that it is by far one of the worst days of your life when you have to leave a child at Uni. I have visions of never leaving and just moving to wherever she is just so I can see her every day..................................................The male teen is all for it and has secretly admitted to me that he cant even think about her going away. Who would of thought that he would of even noticed her absence. He doesn't want her room (as its bigger) even though she has offered it to him in exchange for his little room being done up for when she is home. He wants it left for her just as it is.............................................................................................

God, I am being a right moaner aren't I, sorry.............................Actually, I'm not sorry.

I'm bloody sad...................Cross..............Proud...............Excited...................Confused.........A mixture of emotions.

OK!!!! You get the picture, I am not going to bang on anymore......................................I will get through this that much I know, she is going to have the most fantastic time and as long as she is happy and safe then I am too.

I must warn you that I will be blogging from time to time about this whole process in great lengths which some of you might find helpful either for now or even in the future................................I am determined to take a comical approach to all this as its my way of dealing with it I think (not that you would know it from this post) and hope that I can gain advice and tips from anyone else who has already been through it.

This post was sponsored by Gin and tissues............xxxx

Wednesday, 8 October 2014

Wet Socks.

 
The rain fell, the wind howled
I made the toast whilst they watched and scowled
"Please oh please wont you take us today?"
"We'll get soaked out there and it is on your way".
 
"Alright" I replied whilst stirring my tea
"YIPPEE" yelled The Teens leaping with glee
"I'm leaving in five so don't muck around,
If your not ready then your gonna get drowned".
 
To the car we all ran, umbrellas up high
The dog sensed my panic and started to cry
She looked at him and I knew there was trouble
I started the car and sped off on the double.
 
"For Gods sake move over, your hogging the seat"
"Oh shut up you Diva and get your bag off my feet"
"Muuuummmmm" she cried "I cant fit it all in"
"Try packing less makeup" he said with a grin.
 
I wanted to turn and scream at them "NO"
But the car was steamed up and we needed to go
"She's got soooo much stuff" he turned and yelled at her
"And now look" he said "She's crushed my Ciabatta".
 
I pulled up outside and sighed with relief
"OH NO" said the boy "I haven't done my teeth"
"There's no time for that, here have some gum.
Now get out the car and bloody well RUN"
 
I arrived back at home feeling quite in a muddle
Stepped out of the car and straight into a puddle
That's it I thought I'm cancelling today
Indoors I will go and there I will stay.
 
THE END
 


Prose for Thought


Saturday, 27 September 2014

CardNest A Beautiful Review

Have you ever felt that twinkle of excitement when its your birthday and the postman walks up the driveway carrying a bundle of pretty coloured envelopes? Have you ever opened a letter and thought "just for once, I wish this was something nice" rather than a bill or a piece of junk mail.

I have...........................Many times.





In fact the best thing for me about birthdays are the cards, there is something quite uplifting receiving a card that someone has taken the time to not only write but then walk to a post box and send it to you. I am a huge fan of sending cards and will grab any opportunity to do so even if its just one that says "I'm thinking of you" sometimes that's all that is needed to make a difference to someone's day.





So, you can imagine my utter excitement when I was contacted by the rather fabulous and totally gorgeous people at CardNest.

Here's what they said......................

"Subscribers to CardNest are topped up each month with three ‘bright and beautiful cards for all sorts of occasions’. The idea is that when a birthday creeps up on you or you have a last minute ‘thank you’ to send, you can dig into your CardNest collection, leaving you fluster-free.

Sending a handwritten card to someone we care about can really make their day. As well as those handy greetings, they also send out cards that aren’t occasion specific to help you keep in touch with the extra special people in your life. Whether you want to just say ‘hello’, tell a loved one you miss them or invite them for the weekend, it’s up to you."


I discovered that not only is it a brand spanking new service its wonderful too.
How do I know this ? Well, I have been a bit of a Guinea Pig for them and already received my first delivery. When the gorgeous parcel dropped through my letter box I was not expecting such a beautifully packaged bundle, I couldn't wait to open it and what I found inside was even more fabulous.






Three stunning cards by different artists with envelopes and as if that wasn't enough they even provided the stamps. They were so lovely I almost didn't want to open them but I did and knew exactly who I was going to send them too.








As many of you know I am a great believer in good honest companies and will only give reviews to those that really impress me. CardNest did just that as well as bringing a smile to my face on a bleary Monday morning.

Are you curious ? I bet you are, go on over to their website at CardNest.com and have a look for yourselves.

I really don't think you will be disappointed and as a special treat CardNest are offering all my lovely readers an exclusive coupon code which will give you lucky people 50% off your first month......................................You see, they really are fab.
 
Just put in this code when subscribing - GODDESS40 (This code will expire on 30/11/2014)

Lots of Love
Me
xxxxxxxx

It’s just £7.50/month in the UK and £10/month for subscribers outside of the UK, including delivery (first class stamps are an optional extra and available in the UK only).

Monday, 22 September 2014

Dogs and Conspiricies

I awoke on our final day in Luxembourg with a slight headache but on the plus side it took my mind off my toe which still looked very broken....................................Mr DG was off today so we had the whole day to ourselves, he had arranged for breakfast in bed which made me cry.............................Oh, did I mention I have PMT too now..................................Marvellous.

I definitely knew I had drunk to much yesterday when I opened the hotel door only to see a group of tiny dogs running up and down the corridor. As I shut the door I remarked that I thought my mind had finally gone only to hear a "woof". Mr DG looked and he too said he could see a dog which was some relief as I did wonder if I had finally lost the plot. It turned out that they were not the only dogs in the hotel and were in fact in town for the World Dog Agility Championships.......................Obviously they weren't staying there in the evening but it seemed the corridors were a perfect place to practice "trotting"..........................What ever next.

Headed off for town which he now promised me would be open and it was...............................It was just beautiful and reminded me of Paris, street performers kept us entertained for hours and we wandered round the shops hand in hand all day....................................I think to be honest he holds my hand so I cant reach for my purse and buy anything.......................................................After a lovely lunch and the most amazing cake I have ever tasted we got the bus back to the hotel and collected our cases ready for the evening flight home.

Luxembourg airport was basic to say the least but impeccably clean like the rest of the country. Once through security we settled down to wait for our flight.................................................................

As a nervous passenger this is the time that I spend quietly contemplating my doom and become quite subdued to say the least..............................Mr DG knows this and deals with it in the best way by ignoring me totally and reading the paper. This works well for both of us and we are well practised in it............................The worst thing that can happen to me before a flight is an equally nervous passenger suddenly striking up a conversation with me...............................Unfortunately that is exactly what happened and I was subjected to 1 hour of conspiracy theories about anything to do with air travel. This bloke was way more nervous than me which gave me some comfort but there was no way I could listen to his voice or his assumptions anymore....................................I made our excuses and we left...............................Not only did we leave but we then hid as we could see him looking for us. I am amazed that we didn't get arrested for looking suspicious but luckily we didn't and made it onto the plane with Mr Conspiracy nowhere to be seen.

The flight home was great and my self help App worked wonders yet again, I even managed to have a Gin and Tonic which probably helped quite a bit to be fair.

It had been a wonderful trip and I would love to go back again some day, I missed the kids terribly but they were amazing and I think they actually looked after Grandma instead of her looking after them. To say I am proud of them is an understatement.

I am sure you are all wondering about the "toe"............................Well....................................Sods law.............................As soon as we got back, it stopped hurting and is now looking more like my own toe rather than a joke one. The broom is now firmly back in its proper place and Mr DG has finally admitted that it probably was his fault...................................................................................

Thanks for reading
Lots of Love
Me
xxxx

Thursday, 18 September 2014

Socks and Flip Flops

It's Day 2 over in Luxembourg and last night was interesting to say the least.............................Once Mr DG had returned from the office he informed me that the town centre was only a 10 minute walk away and that he had been told there were loads of restaurants and shops...................................I didn't need much persuading and seeing as I had spent the afternoon drinking wine and eating as well as having an afternoon nap I was more than eager to get out and do some exploring.............................................................Now, there is something I should mention about My Husband........................................His idea of a 10 minute walk is usually wrong and quite frankly it usually turns into more of an expedition. I should of known better but in my excitement at going out for the evening I completely forgot. Thank goodness they kids weren't here, I can only imagine what they would of said.

Remember the "Toe", well by this point it was so swollen that none of my shoes would even go on it and it resembled a fat sausage that had been put through a old fashioned mangle. Luckily I am always in possession of a pair of flip flops and this trip was no different. So, with flip flops on and a spring in my step.......................Well, Ok a slight limp......................Off we went on this 10 minute walk.....................................Except, it wasn't 10 minutes, it was 40 and when we got there everything was closing due to it being a Wednesday. The shops were shut and at one point we even contemplated getting a burger and chips just because we were so hungry..............................................

Mr DG suggested we head back and have dinner at the hotel. In theory this was a great idea but once again I forgot about the 40 minute walk back.....................................................................................

I woke up after the best nights sleep ever to find my "toe" had gone numb and worryingly so had my foot. The other foot had a rather fetching blister on it due to walking so far in bloody flip flops and I hobbled around the room trying to look cheerful as Mr DG went off to do a full days work.

Now I had a dilemma....................................Do I wear flip flops again which help the "toe" but cause blisters or do I squeeze my foot into a shoe just so I can wear socks thus helping the blister....................OR.............................I thought, do I wear socks with flip flops??????? I decided that Europe wasn't quite ready for that type of fashion statement and went with the first option.

Decided not to go too far and found a Gallery just across from the hotel containing the complete history of Luxembourg as well as many portraits of nobility. This was of some interest to me as I spent most of last year researching my family tree, after lots of revelations it was discovered that I was in fact related to a Princess of Luxembourg.........................................To be honest I took this with a rather large pinch of salt as it also concluded that I was somehow related to Joseph Father of Jesus.....................................................Anyway, I hobbled round the gallery nodding in appreciation and sitting at various paintings with my head tilted to one side as if contemplating..................This was mainly down to the fact my toe was killing me and I was in fact plotting revenge on Mr DG who had quite frankly put me in this way.

Made my way back to hotel for lunch and decided to sit in the sunshine and write, staff by this point obviously noticed my foot and took pity on me by delivering me a glass of wine and a cushion for my foot........God, I love this place.........Keep the wine come.

I vaguely remember Mr DG returning from the office really early but my notes kind of stopped after that..................I can only assume I must of had too much wine................................Whoopppsssss.

It's the final day tomorrow so don't forget to come back and see what we got up to next.

Love
Me
xx



Wednesday, 17 September 2014

Crying and Flying

Before I begin this tale I must point out an important fact............On Sunday (exactly 3 days before I went away) Mr DG.......Lets call him "Mr Your To Blame" for the purpose of this paragraph........Left the broom laying across the entrance to the kitchen. Me, in all my haste of trying to get everything done whipped into said kitchen and with an arm full of washing tripped over ridiculously placed broom, hurtled into the fridge and stubbed my little toe on the corner of the unit. Now, we have all done this before and jumped around swearing and shouting but on this occasion it was slightly different......My little toe was kind of sticking out at a right angle looking......Well......Looking a little bit broken.........

Anyway, on with my story .............................................................................................

So, we arrived in Luxembourg on our own and without the kids which was strange, horrible and exciting all in one, flight was a little bumpy and seats were literally one on top of each other but after careful breathing and much Rescue Remedy, Calms and Gin (I'm joking) I managed to relax and begin to look forward to my get away. My self help app worked very well considering and although I dribbled slightly on Mr DG's shoulder I think it did some good.

Unfortunately right in front of us was a screaming baby and when I say screaming I mean screaming..........No matter how loud I turned my self help guru up the baby managed to drown him out. The other passengers began to turn around and roll their eyes at each other and make snide comments, one woman even asked to be moved in a very loud voice.
I saw the face of the young Mum who was not only mortified but truly upset by the whole experience. Her husband looked on with that kind of "I have no idea what we do now" look and other passengers began to turn around and stare. This reaction from others made me feel angry and quite frankly uneasy.
The problem was clear to see, this poor little mite had been strapped against her Mummy's chest for take off........It was bad enough being a grown up and feeling squashed against the seat in front but imagine how she felt.
Once we were in the air she stopped but did that heart-breaking sobbing thing that babies do. Dad got up and walked her up and down the isle and Mum heaved a sigh and put her head in her hands. I put my hand through the seat in front and squeezed her shoulder "Well done" I said "you handled that beautifully", she looked at me with utter amazement then promptly burst into tears "We have just got off of a 13 hour flight" she said "and she's exhausted". I really felt for her and we exchanged a little wink and a smile at the end as we got off and her baby gurgled quite happily at finally being free of that plane........I think I kind of understood where she was coming from too.

Once we were off the plane and in a taxi we headed off to our hotel.................Why all taxi drivers abroad have to drive like Lewis Hamilton will always be a mystery to me. Poor Mr DG who vowed never to go in a taxi again after our New York experience sat with his hand gripping my knee and clutching his stomach as if ready to throw up, his eyes went like saucers and at one point he even grabbed the seat in front...........................Funny I thought as I watched him, his reaction was not dissimilar to me on the plane.

The hotel resembled a Mine Craft block and I remarked how cool The Male Teen would think it was, inside was just beautiful and everyone was super friendly.
Mr DG said his goodbyes and off he went to work leaving me in a strange European city with a credit card and a smile on my face.....................................................Ooooohhhh........................I almost forgot about the "toe".............................By this point it was swelling up nicely and turning a beautiful shade of blue/green/black and even purple............................................How was I going to fit it in any of the shoes I had packed??????????????



Come back Friday to see what happened next.

Love
Me
xxx

Tuesday, 9 September 2014

Luxembourg Calling.

On Wednesday morning at 8.35am I will be walking onto a metal tube, buckling myself in and then I shall be hurled through the air at 500mph......................................................No, no........I haven't entered myself into some type of circus reality show...................................I am doing that one thing that fills my heart with dread.................................Flying.

Mr DG and I are off to Luxembourg for a business/leisure break and I am thoroughly looking forward to it..........................Except for the above mentioned bit.

My fear of flying stems from having a mother who used to be drugged like BA Baracus from the A Team. She was so bad that the airline happily watched as she was carried on just so she didn't make a huge fuss. Of course, these days you cant do that and will be refused entry to the plane.........Hang on.....That's an idea.

But seriously, I am bloody terrified............I'm not frightened of the actual flying bit, I'm frightened of crashing plain (pardon the pun) and simple. I will never understand why they don't make the thing out of the same material they make the black box out of.

I am nowhere near as bad as my Mum was but am what I call a silent crier, I will grip the hand of Mr DG until he is wincing in pain and will watch the air stewardesses for any slight panic in their faces. As long as they look happy then I am too......Its not even as if I can have a little drink seeing as its a morning flight and will instead have to drink tea with a dash of Rescue Remedy in it.

Once we land I will want to kiss the pilot and shake the hands of anyone that doesn't think I'm a complete loon. Mr DG will do his usual "Well done" rub of my head and then we will venture off to the hotel.

I have visions of sitting outside a café with my notebook writing whilst sipping coffee. I want to walk through galleries and take in all the scenery whilst Mr DG is working during the day but.............................................Unfortunately I predict that deep down inside I will be feeling that awful anxiousness creeping into my tummy at the thought of the return flight..............................

Wish me Luck
Lots of Love
Me
xxxx

Monday, 8 September 2014

Once Upon A Time

Good morning readers, its been exactly 47 days since I wrote last................................I know................................47 days...................................I have never had a holiday from my blog before and it was tough I'm not going to lie but feels very rewarding at the same time. I am back with a new look page and lots of ideas all buzzing round in my head.

My blog and I parted ways on the 23 July with this post.........It was my Summer Bucket List and I was filled with excitement as I wrote all the fabulously unique things I had come up with to do over the break with the kids.

I managed somehow to complete........................................................None of it.....................Nope...........................Not one bloody thing. How did I manage to undertake this amazingly poor show............................I will tell you.

Are you sitting comfortably ? Then I shall begin.................................................

Once upon a time there was a knackered, overweight, overworked and underpaid Mum who had grand ideas of laying in a hammock and reading a book, building a sandcastle, laying out under the stars, writing and generally other wonderfully sounding ideas that all resembled something out of a novel.





Unfortunately, she had Teenagers who in their extreme wisdom decided that her bucket list was not only a bit lame but totally embarrassing too. The thought of their mother jumping into a pool fully clothed or having a water fight in full view of other humans was just too much for them to bear.




With this in mind the knackered, slightly overweight Mum came to the conclusion that they could in fact "sod off" and she would instead have a perfect summer of reading, laughing and drinking wine whilst watching the sunset over Devon.


The Teenagers didn't understand this behaviour one little bit and hatched a plan to sabotage her new found enjoyment. Unfortunately for them slightly overweight Mum was three thoughts ahead  (as always) and threatened to confiscate all means of electronic social media devices and banish them to the land of "Get to your room"...........This upset The Teenagers so much that they called on the great and wise one known as "Dad" to aid them in their quest to wind up Knackered Mum as previously planned.................Once he had listened intently to their plight he too told them to"sod off" and joined overweight Mum in her revised bucket list.

They were so shocked at this sudden show of unity that they both turned on each other and normal behaviour was resumed in its entirety.

After many hours of sulking and muttering it became apparent to The Teenagers that resistance was futile and that they may as well join in with Mum and Dad (minus the wine) . They too sat and watched the sunsets and chatted quite happily, laughed and joked with each other and played games with Knackered Mum and Wise Dad until bedtime. During the day they walked on golden beaches, read books and ate chips in the sand dunes. Harmony was restored to the land and all was well.

And they all lived happily ever after.

The End.

So you see, my bucket list was not all completely wasted just changed very slightly. This story was the main reason I didn't blog for the whole six weeks, I was having such a great time with my family that it didn't seem fair to plonk myself in front of the laptop after I had asked them to put their lifelines phones away.

I became aware that my eldest is going to Uni next year and holidays together might be few and far between and that our lives are evolving into the next phase. However, this blog is my little journal and for that I will always be thankful.

People often ask me why I do it and what do I get out of it............My answer is simple........Memories.....Pure and simple memories. I will admit to getting strange looks but am I "bovvered"........No I am not.

Plus.............................Its a lot cheaper than therapy.

Lots of Love
Me
xxxxx

Wednesday, 23 July 2014

Summer Bucket List 2014

Good Morning and welcome to the DG News at 9. Today's top stories include..............................


BONG - Its 3 hours and counting until the beginning of the Summer Holidays.
BONG - Its 4 hours until one Mum in Sussex may need her first Gin and Tonic.
BONG - Its 5 hours until the same Mum will use the words "TURN IT DOWN...............PICK THAT UP"
BONG - Its 6 hours until the kids will have trashed the house, eaten everything in the cupboards and reduced Mums all over the world to tears.

In other news around the region, Mrs T from Brighton has decided to walk around her house naked until her kids start clearing up after themselves......................................................More news later.

I am of course talking about that moment that we all either love or loathe, that moment that comes to us all after a few hours of them being home where we suddenly think what on earth are we going to do for 6 whole weeks. I don't know about you but it takes me a good week or so to get used to having them around the house and then I kind of relax and actually quite enjoy it. Sometimes I wish they had less time in the summer and an extra week at Christmas but I know that's never going to happen.

Last year I wrote a Summer Bucket List which was brilliant fun, I have therefore decided to do the same this year. I'm not going to do as many as last year just because I am not sure we are going to have time with holidays and visits.....................................................................................................

1. I want to read a good book whilst laying in a hammock.........................I realise that being a "curvy lady" this may prove tricky but I am going to give it a go.
2. Have a Nerf Gun or water fight.................................The Male Teen will love this...................I think. ........Not sure about Grandma.
3. Jump in a pool fully clothed.......Yes.................Fully clothed.
4. Write another short story...........................JK watch out.
5. Sleep outside under the stars......................I'm not sure how HRH will cope with this but it will be worth a blog post.
6. Watch a sunrise and sunset.
7. Build a sandcastle.
8. Make homemade lemonade and cookies.
9. Make S'mores over a campfire.......................Or BBQ.
10. Go to a pick your own farm and do exactly that.

And finally.......................If you read last years bucket list you will see that I attempted to try every Ben and Jerrys Ice Cream flavour....................................................This was the most fabulous challenge, for obvious reasons. They have new flavours now so I feel its only fair to add them to my list....................Its a tough job but someone's got to do it.

Once I have completed the above challenges I will find some more to do but I think that's enough for now.

All I have left to say is..............................Have a great Summer with your kids and remember..................................................Holidays with the kids isn't about the holiday (because lets face it, it's beyond exhausting), it's about making memories.

Lots of Love
Me
xxxxx


Phillips SpeedCare Iron Review

What's your most dreaded chore in the home? Mine is without a shadow of a doubt the washing and ironing, having a husband whose shirts resemble large tablecloths and 2 Teenagers who both need clean shirts each day for school I spend hours each week washing, drying and then trying to smooth all the creases out. I stand puffing and panting and have even been known to go over each item again just to make it look nice.

That's why I was so excited (I know, I know....I said the word excited in the same sentence as ironing) to hear of a new iron launching this weekend on the fabulous Ideal World Website. The Phillips Speed Care steam generator iron offers up to 2 X faster ironing with 2 X more steam helping you speed up your ironing and is priced at £99.99.




Other features include a safety lock to keep the iron securely on the base unit and stop little hands from pulling it off the ironing board and hurting themselves.

I was intrigued to receive this product and put it through its paces..................And that is exactly what I did.







After filling up the water chamber which is on the base unit not the iron I turned it on and waited 2 minutes for it to heat up. Once the iron was off the base unit I was shocked how lightweight it was, it glided across the creased shirt effortlessly and with the press of a little button underneath the handle steam appeared and the once heavily creased shirt looked wonderful in seconds.



The water tank has 1.2L capacity which allows you to iron for over an hour........................But, to be honest it didn't take me anywhere near that amount of time and in just 15 minutes I had done over an hours worth of ironing.

The other feature I loved was the Calc Clean system which features a sound light clean reminder so there is no chance of any dirty stains on the clothes whilst ironing which can happen over time when a build up of lime scale gets into you iron.

Once I had finished I waited for it to cool down and placed the iron back onto the base unit. The whole thing was very light and stored away perfectly ready for next time.

In conclusion this iron takes all the hard work out of a once tedious job. It leaves you with a sense of satisfaction and amazement how such a lightweight iron can do such a fantastic job.

My husband has even commented on how his shirts looked like I had sent them to the dry cleaners..................................I'm not sure what he was indicating about my ironing before but I'm not asking.





Thank you Ideal World for the opportunity to review such a fantastic product and thank you Phillips for making my busy day that little bit less stressful.

Disclaimer - I was sent the Phillips Speed Care Iron free of charge for the purpose of this review but all opinions are completely my own.