This is an emergency blog.I can no longer carry on with this bloody Colour Diet. Not only have I put weight on but I am now suffering with the most extreme case of wind ever known to woman. I understand that farting is not really a very ladylike subject but I just felt the need to get it all out ........ my feelings..........not the wind.
My reason for quitting this diet all came down to the most embarrassing moment of my whole life today at the gym. I only went because I had put weight on this week, and then the unthinkable happened to me.
Picture the scene.........There I am all gym kitted up in my latest gear, looking (I think) like I've been doing this exercise lark for ages. The gym itself was quite quiet all except for the most handsome man I have ever seen (aside from my Husband who reads my blog so.. LOVE YOU!!!).
Anyway, there I was doing some type of walking/running......who am I kidding.....walking/fast walking when I noticed he was coming over to me. "OH MY GOD, OH MY GOD!!" I screamed in my head. "Play it cool now, don't go all girly and stupid". It was at this moment it all went very very wrong, he approached my running machine and stood looking at me, I in turn pulled the headphones out of my ears and gave him that look that says "yes, can I help you".
In my head I wondered if he was going to tell me that I was the most gorgeous creature he had ever seen and that he had to run away with me to Aruba ,(message for The Husband....I would never do this because I LOVE YOU).
I think I must of gone the colour of a postbox as I thanked him kindly. As if this wasn't bad enough as I turned my upper body round to retrieve the loo paper, the unthinkable happened.........Yes you've guessed it ............I farted/passed wind/trumped/blew off what ever you want to call it, I did it. I think the word embarrassed doesn't actually cover what I was feeling, it was sort of a mixture of shame and wanting to die right there. The worst thing was that he didn't even do the gentlemanly thing and ignore what he had heard, oh no he did the worst thing possible and .....he bloody laughed. Can you believe it, fancy laughing at my windy misfortune. Rather than laughing with him I then went into full explanation mode of how I was doing this diet and how gassy it made you blah blah blah blah. When will my brain learn to engage before I open my mouth.
He then proceeded to give me diet tips and tell me all about why we get gas and what I could do to reduce it. Oh the shame.!!!
As I drove, a smile crept up onto my face and before I knew it I was laughing hysterically to myself. God only knows what the others drivers must of thought as I giggled and chuckled, I only stopped when I reached the Police Station and suddenly thought of the horror should a Policeman come out and see me like this, he may think I'm drunk and then I will have to step out of the car with no bra on and let me assure you he would definately notice them swaying in the breeze.
So there we go, my main reason for coming off of this diet early. Not only am I starving I am now in total shame at ever going back up the gym.
Plus ........I'm still windy.!!!!!
Lots of Love