Sunday 24 July 2016

Been There Done That.............Summer Hell

Its here........................................Todays the day.........................The first day of that thing called THE SUMMER HOLIDAYS.


I can hear the cries of despair all over the country as thousands of Mums/Dads and Carers of the small humans let out that first day sigh and say to themselves "What the hell am I going to do with them for 6 weeks"....................................................I've been there, but those of us who have the grown up variety of small humans might look slightly smug (I must admit I do), we are those Mums who have stood in line at a variety of crap days out, those bloody get togethers where we would rather be anywhere else than sitting on a scratchy blanket fighting wasps, listening to how advanced "Little Johnny" is whilst watching our little ones kick a ball around the park and just wishing we were drinking Gin instead of warm Orange Squash.

I've done the whole baking before 6am and building indoor tents when its pissing down outside only to find that after creating a 5 * house out of chairs and sheets they are playing with a box that the new hoover came in.

We've been to petting farms, mazes, the beach, the park, story time at the Library and the worst of all things related with the Summer Holidays................ swimming at the local pool......................Squeezing myself into an unflattering costume whilst trying to get a 5 year old and a 2 year old ready in the communal changing areas were amongst my worst nightmares. Only closely followed by the smell of poo as my 2 year old crapped in his swim nappy just as we walked onto pool side...................And all this was witnessed by what I love to call "The Perfect Mummys", you know the ones I mean. Those fabulous creatures who looked like they had stepped out of a magazine with their sodding perfect children and their handsome husbands who has taken the whole of summer off just because he can....................I've swam side by side with these ladies only to cringe when my kid announces that she might of just accidentally done a wee in the pool only to feel the warmth of the proclaimed wee sweeping over me and seeing the look of horror on Perfect Mummys face as she too feels it.

I remember having to smile nicely as my kids introduced me to "Bunty" or "Tarquin" who they had literally just met but were now their "Best Friend" apparently..................."Can she come for tea Mummy......Or a sleepover...........Or live with us forever" ............................................................
NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO OF COURSE SHE BLOODY CANT YOU HAVE ONLY JUST MET HER.

Why, why, why I used to ask myself......................................................................................

At the time I thought I was the best mum ever and actually doing something every single day was something to be applauded and commended but do you know what........................There is nothing wrong with your kids be bored, nothing at all, in fact I truly think being bored is what evokes an imagination in children. 

My 2 humans are 19 and 15 now and to be honest I'm lucky if they are up before 1pm these days but I love the fact that they did have days where we didn't do anything except watch movies in our PJ's and eat crap all day. There is nothing wrong with opening the back door and telling them to just go and play.......................One of the best activities I ever did was to give them a pack of chalk and let them draw to their hearts content on our patio, even better was the paintbrushes and tub of water afterwards to wash it all off...........................They spent all day quite happily and I had hardly spent anything.

Don't get sucked in to the whole "Perfect Mummy" cult and remember as long as they are safe, fed, watered and happy they really don't need anything else. 

Have a great Summer.........................................I'm certainly going to in a non smug way...........................Honest.

Lots of Love
Me
xx


Monday 4 July 2016

I Only Wanted To Be A Jedi.........

It's not often I write about H (Male Teen) mainly due to the fact he hates the thought of all his personal life being out there for all to see. However, on this occasion I am saying "Balls" to that and have decided to dedicate this piece to him.

I assume that many of you out there have been pulling your hair out at the whole "work experience" malarkey that is suddenly sprung on us during Year 10. It starts with a nice friendly letter about the positive effects it has on a growing child and how important it is to their general well being and confidence............................I must point out at this moment that it had the opposite effect on M (female teen) when she did it 4 years ago, rather than making her want to be a teacher it turned her completely off it unfortunately.............................Anyway, back to H............................Finding him somewhere to do his work experience proved rather more tricky than I had ever thought. Most parents had already got their kids names down at various local businesses ( I hate these parents, mainly because I didn't think of it first) so this proved tricky in a community that is outnumbered by kids.

Once we had sat down and discussed what he would like to do it became apparent to me very quickly that he had no bloody clue...................Professional Sleeper came to mind or Maker of Extreme Messes was another option.

It was at this moment I almost panicked.............................All of his mates were heading off to Police stations, schools or airports and here he was with nothing, not a thing.

I was a failure.....................A great big let down. "Let him find something on his own" one friend said, as if that was going to happen, he can't find a pair of socks in the morning let alone a bloody job.

Then as if by the Power of Greyskull Mr DG stepped in........................"He can come to work with me if he likes, I bet the IT department would love to have him". Well, to say I was relieved was an understatement. Unfortunately H wasn't so impressed "WHAT........................I'M NOT GOING TO WORK WITH DAD. HE LEAVES AT LIKE 6am AND ISNT HOME UNTIL 7PM. WHEN AM I GOING TO GET ANY FREE TIME".............................Bless him, he really has no clue that one day this will be his life. Getting up and going off to work before 3pm with no chance of a nap mid morning.

Unfortunately for him he had no choice and reluctantly agreed that this was going to have to be the way forward. Mr DG did everything possible to engage him in all the things the IT department had planned for him but he was about as unresponsive as a Custard Cream. Confidence has never been his strong point and he differs so much from his big sister who fills the room with her personality and positivity. He is a quiet, gentle but very funny (once he knows you) kind of kid and I worry all the time that opportunities will just pass him by.

His big first day arrived and off he went with his head hung low, Mr DG sent me a photo of him fast asleep in the car on the way there and my heart filled with sorrow at what we were making him do. The clock ticked, my heart pounded and I sat feeling guilty that I hadn't just let him have the week off..............................Then, the phone rang...................................."Hi Mum, it's me.........................."

Not only was he chatty but he was full of stories about his first morning and how munch he had loved it. The IT guys had been hilarious and had made him feel so welcome taking him around the huge building to all the different departments and even to the "Nerve centre" of the building which was in his words "epic" and "sick" (I think that means its good). Mr DG had offered to take him out for lunch but he had wanted to take his sandwich back to his little desk as he had "data" to analyse.

I could barely believe my ears, how had this happened ?

The week flew past and he loved every minute of it, he was up and dressed by 6am every morning and once home sat for ages telling me all about what he had done and who had said what................................I am sure he has grown about a foot and I think that's just with confidence, he looks different in a weird kind of "I've been out to work for a week" way.

The guys at work all came back with glowing reports of this funny young man who was not only polite but bright as a button and did everything they asked of him and more. We couldn't of been prouder and I had to admit that I was wrong in my dismissal of work experience for 15 year old teenagers.

He's gone back to school today and actually said he wished he was going to work instead but has now realised that he's got to work super hard so that he can get good grades and get a good job in the future. He has big ideas of owning a home with a swimming pool and a cinema room (nothing wrong with dreaming big I say).

Just before he left  he turned to me and said "Its serious stuff all this growing up isn't it.............Remember when I just wanted to be a Jedi"...................................A tiny part of me died inside when he said this, I do remember it like it was yesterday and now as I watch him walk off with his usual hand in one pocket I am filled with love and pride for this gorgeous young man that we have raised.

We Love You H

xxxxxxxxx